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July 01, 2011
The Kitchen Sink blog has moved - www.eatmywords.com/blog
Please visit us at our new location:
http://eatmywords.com/blog/
September 15, 2009
New "Head Scratcher of the Year" Contender: Chyngle
OMG, their name as confusing as what they do... "Chyngle is the first mobile location-based service
to provide a venue branded ultra-local experience
for users to interact and exchange value with each
other and their surroundings within what we call
Ultra-Local Environments™ or ULE's." Huh?
Too bad the Chynglers didn't see this before they paid $14.95 for their domain name...
The Eat My Words SMILE & SCRATCH Test (as seen in The Wall Street Journal), is based on our philosophy that a name should make you smile, instead of scratch your head.
SMILE if your name has these 5 success factors:
Simple – one easy-to-understand concept - NO
Meaningful – your customers instantly "get it" - NO
Imagery – visually evocative - creates a mental picture - NO
Legs – carries the brand, lends itself to wordplay - NO
Emotional – empowers, entertains, engages, enlightens - NO
SCRATCH it if it has any of these deal-breakers:
Spelling-challenged – not intuitive - CHECK
Copycat – similar to competitor's names
Random – disconnected from the brand - CHECK
Annoying – hidden meaning, forced - CHECK
Tame – flat, uninspired, boring, non-emotional - CHECK
Curse of Knowledge – only insiders get it - CHECK
Hard-to-pronounce – not obvious - CHECK
Thanks to our buddy Paul K. for sending us this doozie.
August 13, 2009
You would have to be really thirsty to drink this...
A photo submitted from our pal Rich Binell of Get Rich Quick!
April 10, 2009
I must confess that truuconfessions is a truuly dreadful name.
Regular Kitchen Sink contributor Robin Wolaner of TeeBeeDee tipped us off to this truuly dreadful name, truuconfessions, which was clearly the result of someone thinking they were being clever by snagging the domain name for $9.95 on GoDaddy. (The correct spelling, www.trueconfessions.com is parked - why not just pony up the money and save yourselves the nightmare of having to say, "That's 'true' with two u's and no e" every time they tell someone the name. Painfuul.) Too bad the name is so bad as truuconfessions provides hours of fun... Here are some confessions I found under different categories:
Military Wife: I shop too much while my husband is gone. (Posted by "anonymous")
Office: If you say "cool beany weenies" one more time I'm going to staple your mouth shut. Your 40 years old, come on! (Posted by "anonymous")
Mom: It drives me crazy when childless people say "I love my dogs like I would love my kid". How do you know? You don't have a kid off which to base that statement. (Posted by "anonymous")
Bride: I want to kill my MOH! She insisted I try false eyelashes on my wedding day and I foolishly listened to her and had a woman I'd never met come over to put them on. It was such a disaster - I had glue all over my eyelids and I looked like a transvestite with clumpy black long FAKE lashes!!!! (Posted by "anonymous")
Wife: My husband is pissed at me for not making the kids mow the lawn before he came home from work. (Posted by "anonymous")
April 06, 2009
Marketing gurus re-name pollack to boost sales... and call it COLIN
Thanks to Kitchen Sink fan Igal Gabbay for alerting us to the latest naming disaster from the nitwit Brits...
Marketing gurus re-name pollack to boost sales... and call it COLIN
from the salacious tabloid, The Daily Mail
By Sean Poulter
06th April 2009
When the marketing experts at Sainsbury's sat down to the task of trying to boost sales of pollack, they had a brainwave.
'Let's give it a new name,' they said.
Many months and meetings later, the name was chosen - Colin.
Colin (pronounced Col-an) is what the French, who actually can't get enough of Britain's pollack, call the fish once it has been cooked.
It is an interesting choice of name and one which the British shopper may struggle to come to terms with.
Sainsbury's said the exercise is designed to make British consumers add pollack to their shopping list as an alternative to threatened species such as cod.
There is a feeling that the current name is as ugly as the bug-eyed fish itself, while it seems a number of shoppers are wary about asking for pollack.
March 23, 2009
Two Mo' Eye Sore Head Scratchers
A newspaper in South Santa Clara, California has created a web design company called ISOARS. Ouch. What's really a shame is they actually have some nice looking web design and a playful personality. But their name is an eye sore and no one wants to have a site that makes their eyes hurt. I mean really, who wants to say their website was designed by what sounds exactly like "Eye Sores"?
It gets worse.
ISOARS created a digital coupon service with an even more cringe-worthy name:
I don't know where to begin with Mo-Quepons. It violates the most important rules of naming. It's hard to spell, pronounce, and downright annoying. And what's with the hyphen? You mean to tell me that www.moquepons.com was taken?!
Please guys, you need to spend mo' time evaluating names and less time thinking you hit the naming jackpot because the domain was available on GoDaddy for $9.95. That is not a good reason to choose a name. We suggest using the Eat My Words SMILE & SCRATCH Test (as seen in The Wall Street Journal), which is based on our philosophy that a name should make you smile, instead of scratch your head.
SMILE - the qualities of a powerful name:
Simple – one easy-to-understand concept
Meaningful – your customers instantly "get it"
Imagery – visually evocative - creates a mental picture
Legs – carries the brand, lends itself to wordplay
Emotional – e.g. empowers, entertains, engages, enlightens
SCRATCH it off the list if it has any of these deal-breakers:
Spelling-challenged – you have to tell people how to spell it
Copycat – similar to competitor's names
Random – disconnected from the brand
Annoying – hidden meaning, forced
Tame – flat, uninspired, boring, non-emotional
Curse of Knowledge – only insiders get it
Hard-to-pronounce – not obvious, relies on punctuation
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If you'd like to see some great names that past the test, check out the names created by Eat My Words - now these are a site for sore eyes!
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Thanks to my NSA ProTrack buddy Jim Carrillo for tipping me off to theses two doozies...
March 22, 2009
The onomatopoeia for a phlegmy cough
Mik was in the hippie health section of the grocery store yesterday and came across this Head Scratcher, Umcka. I believe "umcka" is the sound one makes when trying to clear phlegm from their throat, making this irritating name an onomatopoeia, or what is also called imitative harmony (or in this case, an irritative harmony). An onomatopoeia is a word that imitates the sound it is describing, such as noises like "oink," "meow," and in this case, "umcka."
Umcka is "new to the US," from Germany, the same country that brought us "Obama Fingers" and Wienerschnitzel.
February 23, 2009
Open Source - say it outloud - yikes!
Open Source sounds like Open Sores. Ouch!
February 12, 2009
Announcing the worst name of 2008
Thanks to all of you who voted in the 2008 Head Scratcher "worst name of the year" contest. This cheeky annual award, created by naming firm Eat My Words (that would be us), is inspired by our no-brainer philosophy, "A name should make you smile, instead of scratch your head." Contenders are judged on their "ick factor" and ability to pass the Eat My Words SMILE & SCRATCH Test, which has been featured in Wall Street Journal, a fact that we like to mention as often as possible.
Drumroll please...
The name that chalked up the most votes was a new "financial literacy" site for children out of Oklahoma named Shryk. A name that made us shriek.
The tacky pink trophy was ready to be engraved and then...
We were tipped off that Shryk renamed themselves with an even worse name: iThryv.
Tip #1: Your company name needs to spelled exactly as is sounds. As anyone from iThryv, Takkle, Xobni, or countless other dot coms will reluctantly admit, when you have to verbally spell out your name (and silly-sounding email address) for people, it's embarrassing and annoying. And if it's annoying for you, how do you think your customers feel when they type the name they hear in their browser and discover what iThrive is?
For more tips on when to scratch your name of the list, check out our Kitchen Sink Blog and the Eat My Words SMILE & SCRATCH Test, which has been featured in Wall Street Journal, a fact that we like to mention as often as possible.