Eat My Words - The Kitchen Sink

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How about renaming it "Brad Pit Bull"?

Recently we were tapped to work on a highly controversial project... to rebrand America's most demonized breed of canine, the Pit Bull.

All of us here at Eat My Words  are dyed-in-the-sheep wool animal lovers with many dogs, cats, goats, chickens, Chia pets, Pet Rocks, and one very angry goose sharing their lives with us.  (Not in a one-bedroom apartment, thank godness.) Therefore, we are predisposed to love our furry and feathered friends. 

However, we admit to buying into some of the myths and misstatements about the Pit Bull and committed ourselves to get educated about this proud beast, which was once known as "Americas family pet."

Our preliminary research has resulted in the following positive findings:

• Petey (a  Pit Bull) ran with The Little Rascals and they all lived to adulthood.

• Jessica Biel and Jessica Alba both own Pit Bulls, and they are hot so whatever they like we like.

• There was a Pit Bull named Grunt in the movie "Flashdance". The story is that not only was Grunt a wonderful dog, but is widely considered to be a better actor than Jennifer Beals

• Cesar Millan says they are OK and he is the Dog Whisperer.  We don't know what the hell whispering to a dog does, but Cesar has his own show and nice teeth.

• Contrary to popular belief, Pit Bulls do not have a "locking jaw" mechanism.  The same cannot be said for Rumer Willis.

• The Pit Bull Registry claims you are more four times more likely to be killed by a cow than a Pit Bull.  Two questions.  1) who keeps track of bovine related deaths 2) how embarrassing would it be to be killed by a cow?  How about a "roaring cow"?

All kidding aside, we have learned a lot of positive things about Pit Bulls and have changed our views. Pit Bulls have only gotten a bad rap because of their association with dog fighting and popularity with MTV gangstas. The good news is that the gangsta thugs we have spotted lately in the hood are all sporting itty bitty Chihuahuas ala Paris Hilton.

Like the breed, the new names needs to be friendly and approachable. Our 5 favorite new names so far:

Rockwell Terrier
(ala Norman Rockwell)

American Spirit Terrier
(Americana, sounds like a top breed)

Emperor Terrier  
(a Pit Bull type dog was given to a Chinese emperor)

Gettysburg Terrier
(Americana)

Relay Terrier
(they exceed in flyball which involves relays)

We'll keep you posted...

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*Pit Bull is not a breed but a description of several dogs with similar characteristics including the  American Pit Bull Terrier, American Staffordshire Terrier, Staffordshire Bull Terrier and Sarah Palin.

Literally Eating My Words at Spoon Me

In town for Spoon Me founder Ryan Combe's wedding over the weekend (see next post), thanks to the GPS in my rental car, I managed to hit two Spoon Me locations (and eat Spoon Me at the wedding) in less than 8 hours. Spoon Me is the name that Eat My Words is the most proud of creating. Ryan and his partners David and Wayne have built a cult brand that transcends frozen yogurt and has become one of the hottest franchises on the planet, with projections of 100 new stores within the next 18 months. Spoon Me is a stellar example of how a brand can take a name and run with it. (That's why we call them names with "legs".) From the best-selling "Shut Up and Spoon Me" t-shirts to the "No Spooning on Sundays" hours sign, to the Spoon Me movie quote graffiti ("You had me at Spoon Me") in the bathrooms, there are endless ways to extend the brand through wordplay. Here are photos from my afternoon visit to the original store in Salt Lake City and my late night visit to one of the new super mod locations in Sandy, Utah. Thanks to everyone at Spoon Me for treating me like a celebrity. Can't wait to come back!

 

Wha'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis?

The Sears Tower, America's tallest building, is being renamed The Willis Tower as a result of a   major new tenant, Willis Group Holdings.  That's it.  We just could not resist the post title.

Radisson Blu It

We are all for name changes.  In fact we encourage it, in many cases.  However, this one from Radisson is odd.  First take a look at this from their website:

"As time goes by, your much loved Radisson SAS Hotels & Resorts will change their name to Radisson Blu. This is not a revolution but a gentle evolution. A small graphical change that is significant only in that it reflects a corporate transaction of a few years ago that brought about the natural end of Radisson's links with the SAS Group.

Our values remain the same, our beliefs are the same, our ambitions are the same, our people are the same, our hotels are the same, and our Blu box that allows us to stand out from the global Radisson crowd, remains the same. The world's favourite colour will soon come to represent a cool, calm and collective Radisson hotel experience. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Radisson Blu, you'll soon forget it was ever known as anything else."

If that isn't clear,  Gordon McKinnon vice-president of branding explains: “Our customers are used to a difference between Radisson SAS and simply Radisson and we wanted to keep that differentiation there by using “Blu” in the title, in reference to the previous use of a blue box in the logo.” He also said he hoped the rebrand would win more customers.

What? 

Let's suspend reality for a moment and say that that makes sense.  OK, why BLU and not BLUE or even BLEU for that European flair?  It just looks like someone forgot to type the "e". 

P.S.  Hey cybersquatters!

NameTag®, You’re Not It

We are always amused by our competitors when they glorify their naming processes as “proprietary” methodology and come up with mumbo jumbo voodoo jive to describe what’s behind the curtain. Sometimes all that behind the curtain is empty space.  Let us say it again:

Everyone names things the same way, but some just do it better than others.  When you can stand by your names proudly, you don’t need falderal to sell your names.

Which brings us to worldwide brand strategy, naming firm and falderal experts, NameTag® International, Inc. 

 

( who claims their names are…)                    

Here is their International mumbo jumbo voodoo jive:

“Our proprietary   Idiotics™  Ideonics™ process encompasses BrandVision™, strategic ideation, trademark assessment, brand testing and brand rollout assistance.” 

Falderal to English translation:

Our process, that is like everyone else’s, involves thinking up names, checking for conflicts,  testing it and stuff then pretend that we came up with great names (although we won’t tell you that part).  Then, in our downtime, we sit around and think up junk like Ideonics™,  BrandVision™ and:

InSight Research, which breaks down into four distinct options for your brand research needs:

·         4Sight™ provides our clients with rapid market indicators of the viability of their brand name.

·         EquiTest™ measures the brand equity of an existing name.

·         WorldTest™ serves as an international brand inference testing procedure providing a preliminary, global linguistic analysis in languages specified by the client.

·         VeriTest™ addresses global research and is designed to assist clients with name assessment and final name candidate viability

Yikes. Nothing new there.

Here is what you get with Ideonics™ et al ; Everything from Amazara to Zintrepid, with STŌK, Sorian, Aerius, Cognis and Teligen in between. 

They say:

                                                                      We   Say:

          

Eat My Words creates truly unforgettable names like Spoon Me frozen yogurt, Cake Financial,  Frigid ice cream, BackBeat ear buds and iPod clock radio we named Moondance.  We can do the same for you….and we promise never to say falderal ever again.

Tasty Tidbits from the past week...

 Sometimes we find juicy news not worthy of a full blog post, yet too darn good to not share with you. These "Tasty Tidbits" are digestible bites of news about new names and the naming industry and what we think of them here at Eat My Words. Bon Appetit!

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Scary name for new roller coaster  -  The North Carolina State Fair's newest roller coaster has been named "Toxic Shock," as a result of a naming contest.  We are not big fans of naming contests and this is just another example of you get  what you pay for.  We are not sure of the connection between a roller coaster and a rare, life-threatening bacterial infection that has been most often associated with the use of superabsorbent tampons and occasionally with the use of contraceptive sponges.  However, it is better than the two runner-up names, Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Necrotizing fasciitis.
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Death Doesn't  Sell  -  There is a movement afoot in Israel to change the name of  The Dead Sea because as one business owner says "our clients from abroad are uncomfortable buying products that have originated in a place whose name is associated with death.  It's problematic."  They have not offered any alternatives, but we think any change to such a historical name with eons of brand equity and a rich reputation for its health benefits would be misplaced and would undoubtedly end up sounding silly.  

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Company wins rights to sewage facility  -  T. Wayne Hill Trucking, a bio-solids (nice word for you know what)  management company, had the winning bid of $6,100 out of 26 bids on eBay for the naming rights to a school's new sewage plant.  We can't wait for the sign.   The company logo is of a smiley face holding it's nose.  We think it was a brilliant marketing move.

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We bet the real "Joe the Plumber" is getting a lot of hits on his website.

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Father names baby without mother's consent, may be dumbest man ever.

Here it is...Sarah McCain Palin.  The father, Mark Citpak, did it "to get the word out" about the campaign.  He goes on to say, "I took one for the cause, I can't give a lot of financial support for the (McCain/Palin) campaign. I do have a sign up in my yard, but I can do very little."  Finally, in a statement that will seal his fate “I sort of secretively went behind her back and changed the paperwork.”

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Here is the Namethis.com lame name of the week: 

This week we have another tie:

For "a mobile application and associated web site for quickly sharing your life with friends. Initially this will be sharing photos ."

The winner is Manifestivity.com  The client has not snapped this winner up as of 11:15AM 10-19-08

For "a free service where you can find, share, and store recommendations easily and privately with the people you trust- See instantly what your friends have already recommended (no more wading through past emails to find stuff)" 

**preference for domain names that are short, can’t be misspelled, random words that don’t mean anything are ok too

The winner is Ourpinionis.com.  The client has not snapped this winner up as of 11:15AM 10-17-08

Prior week's winners, Pixelouvre.com, Mevolutionfitness.com and Communinnty.com are all also still available.

So this crowdsourcing thing is not really working out for their clients.  If these names are indicative of the ones rising to the top, there is something definitely broken in their methodology.  At least that ourpinionis.

Frigid, Mixin' Vixens Stuff a Sock In It

If you guessed that Frigid, Mixin' Vixens, and Stuff a Sock In It are all cool brand names created by Eat My Words, congratulations! Bonus points if you figured out that Frigid is the name of a gourmet ice cream store, Mixin' Vixens is an all-women bartender service, and Stuff a Sock In It is a laundromat. When you see or hear an "Eat My Words name," you'll never ask what it means, how to pronounce it, or "What were they smoking?!" Our super-likable names make powerful emotional connections, build instant brand affinity, and make our clients rich. Yes, rich. We are the only naming firm that monetizes names. For instance, we turned the name Frigid into cold hard cash for our client by creating a t-shirt for them that says, "Not tonight dear, I have an ice cream headache." Ca-ching! Our Stuff a Sock In It client will be slapping their new logo on laundry bags, t-shirts, and other merchandise geared at their college kid customers. Ca-ching!

Of course, the client who is monetizing the bejesus out of their Eat My Words name is Spoon Me, the frozen yogurt store that is one of the hottest franchises in the country. They are selling Spoon Me pajamas, booty shorts, underwear, baby clothes, stickers, buttons and of course t-shirts with slogans we created like "Shut Up and Spoon Me." Ca-ching! Ca-ching! Ca-ching! 

Would someone buy a t-shirt with your company or product name on it and pay you to advertise your brand? To see if your name has potential, take the Eat My Words SMILE & SCRATCH Test, which was recently featured in The Wall Street Journal.

Tasty Tidbits from the past week...

Sometimes we find juicy news not worthy of a full blog post, yet too darn good to not share with you. These "Tasty Tidbits" are digestible bites of news about new names and what we think of them here at Eat My Words. Bon Appetit!

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In the company most in the need of an immediate name change department is  the Viet Nam based airline company "Air Speed Up".  It turns out that the name in Vietnamese means "Death and Grief."

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We think it is not a wise move to name a children's product something that implies child abuse.  Apparently the  "PopATot" people don't have such qualms.

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The name change explanation of the week comes from SaleBuild, who changed their name to Salesify.

Here, is their own words, is the impetus behind the name change:

The Company's former sales-centric services have been significantly expanded to include marketing processes and the name, Salesify, reflects this strategic repositioning.

The Salesify name is also aspirational, and while grounded in more than 30 years of industry experience, points towards our dynamic, innovative and out-of-the box thinking," continued (company CFO, Oliver) Deng. 

Um, what? Did they that name from Namethis.com?

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drank is the past tense drink that comes to us promising us that it will "Slow your roll" with a combination of valerian root, melatonin and rose hips.  We are getting sleepy already. 

The problem is that drank is a slang term for a homemade cocktail consisting of Sprite soda and prescription strength Promethazine/Codeine Cough Syrup.  Good idea.....really.  We think their next product should be an energy drink called Speedball.

  

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Our favorite book title of the week is:

Momma Is Daddy Going to Hell?

From the book description we get:

Captivated by the sermons on Hell at his mother's church, Little Johnny started to question his mother about the great abyss. His curiosity covers topics such as the fate of his adulterous father, celebrities, false teachers and different religions to name a few. (our emphasis)

We think this is less about Little Johnny's curiosity and everything about his adulterous father.  The book title we think is not a question, but a hoped for fate for Little Johnny's adulterous daddy by Little Johnny's  momma.

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We hope we didn't spoil your dinner.