Eat My Words - The Kitchen Sink

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Please visit us at our new location:

http://eatmywords.com/blog/

Please visit our NEW blog and website for the freshest tips on how to name your company - www.eatmywords.com

C'mon over to our new website and blog... we'll be waiting for you. All of the same posts are there so you won't miss any of the fun.

New "Head Scratcher of the Year" Contender: Chyngle

OMG, their name as confusing as what they do... "Chyngle is the first mobile location-based service to provide a venue branded ultra-local experience for users to interact and exchange value with each other and their surroundings within what we call Ultra-Local Environments™ or ULE's." Huh?

Too bad the Chynglers didn't see this before they paid $14.95 for their domain name...

                                            

The Eat My Words SMILE & SCRATCH Test (as seen in The Wall Street Journal), is based on our philosophy that a name should make you smile, instead of scratch your head.

SMILE if your name has these 5 success factors:

Simple – one easy-to-understand concept - NO

Meaningful – your customers instantly "get it" - NO

Imagery – visually evocative - creates a mental picture - NO

Legs – carries the brand, lends itself to wordplay - NO

Emotional – empowers, entertains, engages, enlightens - NO

SCRATCH  it if it has any of these deal-breakers: 

Spelling-challenged – not intuitive - CHECK

Copycat – similar to competitor's names 

Random – disconnected from the brand - CHECK

Annoying – hidden meaning, forced - CHECK

Tame – flat, uninspired, boring, non-emotional - CHECK

Curse of Knowledge – only insiders get it - CHECK

Hard-to-pronounce – not obvious  - CHECK

Thanks to our buddy Paul K. for sending us this doozie.

Here Comes Trouble - Naughtiest School Boy and Mean Girl Names

 

From BBC News

Teachers spot trouble in a name

British teachers think they can tell which pupils are likely to play up by looking at their names, a survey suggests.

The poll of 3,000 teachers found more than one in three expected pupils with certain names to be more disruptive.

Pupils called Callum, Connor, Jack, Chelsea, Courtney and Chardonnay were among some of the ones to watch.

The online survey by parenting club Bounty.com found 49% of UK teachers made assumptions about a child when they first looked down the register.

But it is not all bad news, with 57% of the teachers surveyed saying the naughtier children tended to be more popular than their better behaved peers.

More than a third said the naughtiest pupils were often the brightest and the more sensitive.

Naughty list

Many teachers (69%) said they had difficulty pronouncing some of the more obscure names chosen by parents.

And 71% of teachers admitted to have a private chuckle over some of the more unusual names.

The survey also asked teachers what the brightest children tended to be called, with Alexander, Adam, Christopher, Benjamin, Edward, Elizabeth, Charlotte, Emma, Hannah and Rebecca coming in as the brainiest names.

Names of the most popular children in the class included Jack, Daniel, Charlie, Callum, Emma, Charlotte, Hannah and Anna.

Faye Mingo from Bounty.com said: "Teachers are only human and make assumptions like the rest of us.

"Rightly or wrongly, most of us make assumptions based on something as simple as a person's name and we base these on our previous experiences.

"It's only natural for teachers to make judgments based on the behaviour and performance of former pupils with the same name, but I'm sure that they are happy for to be proved wrong."

Introducing Hand Job, a cheeky new nail salon in the Castro

Introducing Hand Job, a cheeky new nail salon that's smack in in the heart of San Francisco's gay mecca, the Castro. Like our other "risque" brand name, Spoon Me frozen yogurt, Hand Job has tremendous potential to be monetized through the sale of lotions, potions, polish, t-shirts, totes, and anything else you can slap the logo on and ring up at the register. The jaw-dropping tourists on Castro Street are scooping it up. (Trust me, they do not sell Hand Job tea towels at the Mall of America.) Special thanks to John Luckett for designing a logo that's playful yet sophisticated and lets the name speak for itself. We love the bold red color, which will make for sleek and sexy holiday and Valentine gifts.

You would have to be really thirsty to drink this...

A photo submitted from our pal Rich Binell of Get Rich Quick!

50 Funny Store Names (with photos)!

Best Week Ever scoured the internet and pulled together these 50 store names that have fun with puns. Enjoy!

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46 More Pun Stores (Seriously) After the cut.

And they’re pretty much all brilliant.

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How about renaming it "Brad Pit Bull"?

Recently we were tapped to work on a highly controversial project... to rebrand America's most demonized breed of canine, the Pit Bull.

All of us here at Eat My Words  are dyed-in-the-sheep wool animal lovers with many dogs, cats, goats, chickens, Chia pets, Pet Rocks, and one very angry goose sharing their lives with us.  (Not in a one-bedroom apartment, thank godness.) Therefore, we are predisposed to love our furry and feathered friends. 

However, we admit to buying into some of the myths and misstatements about the Pit Bull and committed ourselves to get educated about this proud beast, which was once known as "Americas family pet."

Our preliminary research has resulted in the following positive findings:

• Petey (a  Pit Bull) ran with The Little Rascals and they all lived to adulthood.

• Jessica Biel and Jessica Alba both own Pit Bulls, and they are hot so whatever they like we like.

• There was a Pit Bull named Grunt in the movie "Flashdance". The story is that not only was Grunt a wonderful dog, but is widely considered to be a better actor than Jennifer Beals

• Cesar Millan says they are OK and he is the Dog Whisperer.  We don't know what the hell whispering to a dog does, but Cesar has his own show and nice teeth.

• Contrary to popular belief, Pit Bulls do not have a "locking jaw" mechanism.  The same cannot be said for Rumer Willis.

• The Pit Bull Registry claims you are more four times more likely to be killed by a cow than a Pit Bull.  Two questions.  1) who keeps track of bovine related deaths 2) how embarrassing would it be to be killed by a cow?  How about a "roaring cow"?

All kidding aside, we have learned a lot of positive things about Pit Bulls and have changed our views. Pit Bulls have only gotten a bad rap because of their association with dog fighting and popularity with MTV gangstas. The good news is that the gangsta thugs we have spotted lately in the hood are all sporting itty bitty Chihuahuas ala Paris Hilton.

Like the breed, the new names needs to be friendly and approachable. Our 5 favorite new names so far:

Rockwell Terrier
(ala Norman Rockwell)

American Spirit Terrier
(Americana, sounds like a top breed)

Emperor Terrier  
(a Pit Bull type dog was given to a Chinese emperor)

Gettysburg Terrier
(Americana)

Relay Terrier
(they exceed in flyball which involves relays)

We'll keep you posted...

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*Pit Bull is not a breed but a description of several dogs with similar characteristics including the  American Pit Bull Terrier, American Staffordshire Terrier, Staffordshire Bull Terrier and Sarah Palin.

Spoon Me mobbed with hundreds of teens

I told you Spoon Me was popular!

Literally Eating My Words at Spoon Me

In town for Spoon Me founder Ryan Combe's wedding over the weekend (see next post), thanks to the GPS in my rental car, I managed to hit two Spoon Me locations (and eat Spoon Me at the wedding) in less than 8 hours. Spoon Me is the name that Eat My Words is the most proud of creating. Ryan and his partners David and Wayne have built a cult brand that transcends frozen yogurt and has become one of the hottest franchises on the planet, with projections of 100 new stores within the next 18 months. Spoon Me is a stellar example of how a brand can take a name and run with it. (That's why we call them names with "legs".) From the best-selling "Shut Up and Spoon Me" t-shirts to the "No Spooning on Sundays" hours sign, to the Spoon Me movie quote graffiti ("You had me at Spoon Me") in the bathrooms, there are endless ways to extend the brand through wordplay. Here are photos from my afternoon visit to the original store in Salt Lake City and my late night visit to one of the new super mod locations in Sandy, Utah. Thanks to everyone at Spoon Me for treating me like a celebrity. Can't wait to come back!

 

With this ring, I thee spoon.

I spent a fun weekend in Salt Lake City, where I was a guest at the wedding of my good pal and Spoon Me founder, Ryan Combe. Great to finally meet Ryan in person, as well as his business partner, David Jaynes, who was one of the key decision makers in choosing the Spoon Me name, which of course was created by Eat My Words. I met so many nice Spoon Me peeps including the infamous Bub and Craig, as well as some of the key franchise owners including David and Ryan's dads. Ryan and his stunning bride, Alicia, are the international poster children for spooning. (And yes, Spoon Me frozen yogurt was served at the wedding.) Check out these photos from the reception... dig those sexy blue stiletto  heels, Alicia!

 

When naming worlds collide...

My naming pal (and fellow Toastmaster!) Jon Fredkove stopped by the office today for a chat. Great to finally meet him in person after all these years! I would love it if he moved here so he could work for me! (Hint, hint...)

Did you see me "slumming it" in the SF Chronicle's Travel Section?

Gerald Miller and Alexandra Watkins use the iconic Taj Mahal 

as a backdrop for a postcard-pretty photo from their vacation.

I'm just now getting around to posting this... it's somewhat work-related as I was taking a vacation from work.

Two Sunday's ago, the San Francisco Chronicle featured this photo of me and my boyfriend, Gerald, in front of the Taj Mahal (yes, the same one from Slumdog Millionaire), along with some highlights of our India vacation. I sent the photo to the paper in hopes that they would print it to show people that India was still very safe for travelers... Here's the link to the whole feature. Want to see more?  Here are two pages of spectacular photos of my trip to India. 

What's really cool is that the "On The Couch" writer, Louise Rafkin, saw the feature and interviewed us last week for her column on interesting couples. That one should be really fun.

Announcing a fresh new name for Second Chance Coffee: I HAVE A BEAN

When some people thought the name Second Chance Coffee implied that the beans were recycled, the founders knew it was time for a name change. The name Second Chance stemmed from the mission of the company - to help ex-offenders help themselves by providing gainful post-prison employment, job training and a community of acceptance. The company positively impacts the spiritual, social and economic condition of their employees, their families and the communities in which they live. All that and they make what many people say is the smoothest cup of coffee they have ever tasted. (It's so smooth, most of their customers drink it black.) Second Chance wanted us to create a memorable name that they could monetize, like we had done for frozen yogurt franchise Spoon Me and the chain of laundromats we named Stuff a Sock in It. After reviewing dozens of names, the top contenders were narrowed down to Happy Joe Lucky, I Dream of Coffee, Thank God It's Coffee, and I Have a Bean. We felt that I Have a Bean made the biggest emotional connection and had the strongest potential to make our client rich through the sale of t-shirts, mugs and coffee canisters. The client agreed. The tagline we created, "Inspired Coffee" helps set the tone that the company is inspiring people to live better lives. We are thrilled with the package design, which was created by Carrie Dufour and her talented team at Sloat Design. We snatched up www.ihaveabean.com for $9.95 and the site and brand officially launch on June 1st. Until then, follow them on Twitter, at I Have a Bean.

Out of our minds for Brain Thaw

Ex-Microsoft guy John Grispon came to Eat My Words for a cool name and tagline for his new marketing consulting company. Since John helps people put "ideas into action," we named his company Brain Thaw. We love John and it's not just because on the side he's a dreamy print model and was George Clooney's stand-in on the new flick Up In The Air. Well, okay, that might have something to do with it. 

Tweet My Words (before someone nabs your name)

Hurry and register your name on Twitter before someone else hijacks it and tweets your words. It's free to sign up and takes all of 17 seconds. Even if you don't have the foggiest idea of what Twitter is or how you could possibly use it to get business, do yourself an enormous favor and secure your brand name (and personal name) on Twitter right now before someone else takes it. You can figure out how to use it later. Unlike domain names, Twitter names (e.g. eatmywords, spoonme, ihaveabean, monalisastyle, fusionlaw, halogenguides) don't cost a dime and are snap to get. I was a Twitterphobe until we got a client, Cha Chang, who "tweeted" a question about needing a naming firm and got a "tweet" back from one of her "followers," who referred her to Eat My Words. Cha-Ching! Since then, I've used Twitter a few times a week to blast out 140-character-or-less business updates, links to blog posts, and informal surveys. You can do the same and more... tweet special offers, ask your customers for feedback, and let them know about new products. Here's how some of our clients are using Twitter to engage their customers. Click on their name to see their Twitter page and postings... 

Spoon Me "Tweet your favorite Spoon Me combo!"

I Have a Bean "We have a lease! We hope to be roasting by the week of May 9th"

Solemate "Solemate is now #4 for Movers and Shakers on Kindle!"

Fusion Law "Cal-COBRA Employers Get a Break http://tinyurl.com/dbrcoe"

Eat My Dust "On beautiful days and nights like these, don't forget 2 open the windows and shut the A/C (or heat) to save energy and increase air quality."

Please let us know when you sign up. And be sure to follow us at eatmywords.

To learn how B2B marketers are using Twitter, read this excellent article.  

We wrote the book on naming books.

Imagine our surprise when we looked on Amazon a few weeks ago and saw that the book we titled Solemate was ranked #29 on their best seller list and #1 under books on "Depression." (Nothing depressing about that!) Author Lauren Mackler came to Eat My Words at the eleventh hour, needing an arresting book title for her new book about "mastering the art of aloneness." Our team tackled the assignment, submitting catchy titles including, Dancing With Myself, Table For One, and Good Enough for Garbo.  The winning title, "Solemate" says it all. And readers clearly love it. Babs on Amazon gave it five stars and said, "...who can resist that clever title."

A best-seller in the UK as well, Solemate is about mastering the art of aloneness. But it's not about being alone. It's a book for people who want to enhance the quality of their lives by improving their relationships with themselves and with others. Download an excerpt or order the book here.

What do you call "Yelp for pet owners?:

Doggone it, "Yelp" would be the perfect name, but it was taken. So we came up with Breed Trust (and got www.breedtrust.com on GoDaddy for $9.95). When you see the Breed Trust decal in a window of a pet service provider or on their website, you know that it is a business you can trust because, as our taglines says, it's Owner Recommended. Pet Approved. In addition to user ratings and reviews of local pet businesses, the Breed Trust  website will include info on dog and cat breeds, pet travel, and the "Gossip Hound News Browser," featuring pet news (yes, you can lap up more about Bo!), user reviews of pet-themed books, movies, and TV shows (e.g. I Love Lassie), pet care advice, and of course an online pet store, because pets don't drive. We'll yap about it when it launches, but if you want to be the first to know, sign up here. 

I must confess that truuconfessions is a truuly dreadful name.

Regular Kitchen Sink contributor Robin Wolaner of TeeBeeDee tipped us off to this truuly dreadful name, truuconfessions, which was clearly the result of someone thinking they were being clever by snagging the domain name for $9.95 on GoDaddy. (The correct spelling, www.trueconfessions.com is parked - why not just pony up the money and save yourselves the nightmare of having to say, "That's 'true' with two u's and no e" every time they tell someone the name. Painfuul.) Too bad the name is so bad as truuconfessions provides hours of fun... Here are some confessions I found under different categories:

Military Wife: I shop too much while my husband is gone.  (Posted by "anonymous")

Office: If you say "cool beany weenies" one more time I'm going to staple your mouth shut. Your 40 years old, come on!  (Posted by "anonymous")

Mom:  It drives me crazy when childless people say "I love my dogs like I would love my kid". How do you know? You don't have a kid off which to base that statement. (Posted by "anonymous")

Bride:  I want to kill my MOH! She insisted I try false eyelashes on my wedding day and I foolishly listened to her and had a woman I'd never met come over to put them on. It was such a disaster - I had glue all over my eyelids and I looked like a transvestite with clumpy black long FAKE lashes!!!!  (Posted by "anonymous")

Wife: My husband is pissed at me for not making the kids mow the lawn before he came home from work.  (Posted by "anonymous")

Obama O's Cereal "Hope In Every Bowl"

Just caught this on Twitter. (Thanks Edith!)

Hail to the Obama Ch-Ch-Chia Pet

Mik spotted this latest product to cash-in on the Obama name...

From the website:

Can you grow one? YES YOU CAN.

Easy to do... Fun to Grow.

Full growth 1-2 weeks

Reuse your Chia indefinitely

Contains:

    * Chia Obama handmade planter

    * Chia Seed packet for 3 plantings

    * Convenient Drip Tray

    * Planting and care instruction sheet 

Marketing gurus re-name pollack to boost sales... and call it COLIN

Thanks to Kitchen Sink fan Igal Gabbay for alerting us to the latest naming disaster from the nitwit Brits...

Marketing gurus re-name pollack to boost sales... and call it COLIN
from the salacious tabloid, The Daily Mail
By Sean Poulter
06th April 2009

When the marketing experts at Sainsbury's sat down to the task of trying to boost sales of pollack, they had a brainwave.

'Let's give it a new name,' they said.

Many months and meetings later, the name was chosen - Colin.

Colin (pronounced Col-an) is what the French, who actually can't get enough of Britain's pollack, call the fish once it has been cooked.

It is an interesting choice of name and one which the British shopper may struggle to come to terms with.

Sainsbury's said the exercise is designed to make British consumers add pollack to their shopping list as an alternative to threatened species such as cod.

There is a feeling that the current name is as ugly as the bug-eyed fish itself, while it seems a number of shoppers are wary about asking for pollack.

Read the entire article here...

Brooklyn Restaurant’s Name Hits a Sour Note

From the New York Times...

By KAREEM FAHIM

Published: April 3, 2009

To the list of lofty names that glamorize the city’s fried chicken stands, like Crown, Royal and Kennedy, one Brooklyn restaurant owner decided to add another: Obama.

From the restaurant’s perspective, the name change grew out of pride in the new president and a keen sense of commerce. From other perspectives, it was tone-deaf at best, and racist at worst. When the restaurant, Royal Fried Chicken on Rutland Road in Brownsville, changed its name last week to Obama Fried Chicken, the reaction was swift.

“Community leaders came. They told us we have to change the name,” said Mohammad Jabbar, 33, the manager. “They said if you don’t change it they will take action.”

It was the latest outbreak of commercial enthusiasm for President Obama and his family. An Illinois company tried to sell dolls that looked like the president’s daughters, and a Brooklyn brewery, Sixpoint Craft Ales, named a beer Hop Obama in honor of the community organizer in chief.

A few minutes’ drive from Obama Fried Chicken, Obama Beauty Supply opened its doors several months ago. Its owner, Mohammed Seraji, said he was inspired by his children’s enthusiasm for the president, along with Mr. Obama’s popularity in the neighborhood. A Michelle Obama wig he sells, for $49.99, is emerging as a popular item.

A White House spokesman, Ben LaBolt, said in an e-mail message, “The White House has a longstanding policy of disapproving uses of the president’s name and likeness for commercial purposes.”

At the restaurant, Mr. Jabbar, who said he had been a lawyer and university instructor in his native Bangladesh before moving here in January, has, apart from serving food, become Obama Fried Chicken’s spokesman. The owner, he said, did not wish to speak to reporters.

Explaining the decision to rename the restaurant, Mr. Jabbar said that not only was the owner fond of President Obama but that the entire neighborhood also “loved” him.

“From this love, everything is happening,” Mr. Jabbar said, weary from all the attention.

There were support and derision for the unnamed owner along Rutland Road, where most every store hangs a picture of the president, and where, on a rainy Friday, passers-by took cellphone pictures of the rebranded fried chicken stand.

Chantel Harewood, 18, a college student who grew up in the neighborhood, ordered food from Mr. Jabbar and said she liked the new name. “Why not? It’s history,” she said. “All these stereotypes. People got to relax.”

However, Mr. Jabbar said that the restaurant was bowing to the pressure, and that it would be renamed Popular Fried Chicken by the weekend. Ms. Harewood did not think much of the new name. “That’s so blah, predictable, typical,” she said. The current name, she added, gave her “pride.”

In the Au Monde Chic barbershop, where Mr. Obama’s portrait hung on a back wall, Alnord Benoit cut a customer’s hair and called the name change “disrespectful.”

“Did he get permission from Obama?” Mr. Benoit asked.

In a nearby computer store, the manager, Earl Dennis, jokingly said he should rename his place Obama’s Computer Store. “It’s publicity,” Mr. Dennis said. Of the chicken restaurant, he said, “I’m not eating there.”

Competition might have played some role in the new name. Crown Fried Chicken is across the street, owned by Osman Mohibi, 47, an Afghan immigrant. He keeps pictures of Mr. Obama and Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. taped to the plexiglass divider by the cash register.

Mr. Mohibi said his competitor’s misstep was winning new customers for Crown Fried Chicken. “He used the name,” Mr. Mohibi said of the owner. “He used black people.”

Kevin McCall, one of the community organizers who confronted Obama Fried Chicken’s owner, said he received calls from residents disturbed by the sign, and quickly contacted the owner to tell him it was “very offensive to African-Americans.”

The owner told him it would be taken down the next day, Mr. McCall said. When it was not, he contacted the owner again. “I said we would be out there having a rally,” Mr. McCall said.

City Councilman Charles Barron, who was also involved in the effort to change the name, said it was possible that the owner was simply trying to exploit the president’s name. “Fried chicken, watermelon and minstrels are part of the racist stereotyping of black people in America,” he said. “It’s outrageous. You have to be sensitive and knowledgeable.”

At the store on Friday afternoon, Mr. Jabbar served ice cream to teenagers and chicken wings to regulars. He said he did not really understand the pressure to bring down the sign, since everyone who came in the store seemed to like the idea. And he was concerned about what would happen if the community advocates returned.

“I’m new to this country,” he said. “I don’t really know what they could do.”

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Someone should be jailed for this frightful name: Child Predator Hands

Thanks to Lenny Raymond for tipping us of to this frightening name:

Child Predator Hands 

From the product description...

Predators are hunters who look for trophies of other dangerous species for sport such as humans and other aliens. This latex Predator Hands costume product has metal look gauntlets and knife details. Add this to your child's Predator Mask for a great movie look!

I don't think we'll see these on Oprah's O-list anytime soon.

Not a good Valentine's Day gift: Fat Pig Chocolate

Mik spotted this little piggy...

A not very lady-like name...

Another bad name submitted by my friend, humor columnist Mary Hanna... unbelievably, this company is owned by 3 women. 

I am not making this up!

My friend, humor columnist Mary Hanna sent me this photo of a new lens cleaner that she spotted. Mary reports that she asked the clerk why they called the product "Cat Crap" and the clerk said, "Well, it made you look at it!" 

Pet Names We Love.... Cowboy & Trowser

Pets are much more fun to name than companies, products or babies. You don't have to trademark the name, and pets are easier to please than clients. This sweet dog, is my fairy dog child, Cowboy. What makes that name so adorable is Cowboy is a girl. As her owner, identity designer Tracy Moon of StudioMoon says, "Cowgirl wouldn't be nearly as cute." Cowboy, also known as "Cowby," is one half of my fairy dog children, the other being her sister, Trowser also known as The Trowse, (pictured below). I have nicknamed Cowboy & Trowser "The Little Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence" because they are spoiled rotten. 

Eat My Dust cleans up in Big Success Business Contest

Congratulations to Eat My Words' client Russ Goldin of Eat My Dust™ who is one of five finalists in the Comcast Big Success Business Pitch, taking place this Thursday night at the Westin in San Francisco. As you may know, Eat My Dust is the first green commercial janitorial company in Northern California with fundamentally different approach to cleaning. They utilize a science-based cleaning system that removes up to five times more dirt and pollutants than traditional housekeeping. They are competitively priced and 100% sustainable for both the environment and the cleaning worker.

THE CONTEST DIRT
The 5 entrepreneurs will compete in front of a live audience and a panel of distinguished judges consisting of seasoned entrepreneurs and angel investors. The winner will receive a grand prize of being featured by the local CBS news in an exclusive 5-minute interview. Judges include:

• Kevin Hartz- limited partner of Sequoia Capital, seed investor of Paypal, and co-founder and CEO of Eventbrite
• Christine Comaford-Lynch- angel investor of Google, former VC and bestselling author
• Mark O’Leary – regional vice president of Comcast Business Class
• Amy Errett – Former CEO of Olivia.com and Venture Capitalist with Maveron 

Thursday, March 26th
6:15 – 8:30 p.m
Westin San Francisco Market Street
50 Third Street
San Francisco, CA 94103
Purchase Tickets Here

We hope to see you there and help Eat My Dust sweep the competition!

Two Mo' Eye Sore Head Scratchers

A newspaper in South Santa Clara, California has created a web design company called ISOARS. Ouch. What's really a shame is they actually have some nice looking web design and a playful personality. But their name is an eye sore and no one wants to have a site that makes their eyes hurt. I mean really, who wants to say their website was designed by what sounds exactly like "Eye Sores"? 

It gets worse.

ISOARS created a digital coupon service with an even more cringe-worthy name:

I don't know where to begin with Mo-Quepons. It violates the most important rules of naming. It's hard to spell, pronounce, and downright annoying.  And what's with the hyphen? You mean to tell me that www.moquepons.com was taken?!

Please guys, you need to spend mo' time evaluating names and less time thinking you hit the naming jackpot because the domain was available on GoDaddy for $9.95. That is not a good reason to choose a name. We suggest using the Eat My Words SMILE & SCRATCH Test (as seen in The Wall Street Journal), which is based on our philosophy that a name should make you smile, instead of scratch your head.

SMILE - the qualities of a powerful name:

Simple – one easy-to-understand concept

Meaningful – your customers instantly "get it"

Imagery – visually evocative - creates a mental picture

Legs – carries the brand, lends itself to wordplay

Emotional – e.g. empowers, entertains, engages, enlightens

SCRATCH it off the list if it has any of these deal-breakers:

Spelling-challenged – you have to tell people how to spell it

Copycat – similar to competitor's names

Random – disconnected from the brand

Annoying – hidden meaning, forced

Tame – flat, uninspired, boring, non-emotional

Curse of Knowledge – only insiders get it

Hard-to-pronounce – not obvious, relies on punctuation

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If you'd like to see some great names that past the test, check out the names created by Eat My Words - now these are a site for sore eyes!

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Thanks to my NSA ProTrack buddy Jim Carrillo for tipping me off to theses two doozies...

"Notorious A.I.G." Creates New Name To Avoid PR Disaster

Thanks to our colleague Anthony Shore for tipping us off to this breaking news about those sneaky bastards at AIG.  

AIU Holdings: AIG Creates New Name To Avoid PR Disaster

Huffington Post   

by Stuart Whatley

March 23, 2009 02:37 PM

Following up Ryan Grim's report from Congress last week that AIG chief Edward Liddy was looking to change the company's "thoroughly wounded and disgraced" name, it appears as though words are being put into action.

The massive insurance operation will henceforth be known as AIU Holdings, Ltd., a process that began this past weekend with the removal of the large, front-end AIG sign from the its Manhattan office.

According to Reuters:

    The signage is outside the company's Water Street offices, around the corner from AIG's Pine Street headquarters, which has long only been marked by an understated brass plaque inscribed "American International Building."

    AIG has said it may sell the headquarter building, as part of its drive to raise funds to repay its debt to the U.S. government.

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We think AIG should change their name to GAG. They will only have to buy one vowel, which is about all they can afford.

The onomatopoeia for a phlegmy cough

Mik was in the hippie health section of the grocery store yesterday and came across this Head Scratcher, Umcka. I believe "umcka" is the sound one makes when trying to clear phlegm from their throat, making this irritating name an onomatopoeia, or what is also called imitative harmony (or in this case, an irritative harmony).  An onomatopoeia is a word that imitates the sound it is describing, such as noises like "oink," "meow," and in this case, "umcka." 

Umcka is "new to the US," from Germany, the same country that brought us "Obama Fingers" and Wienerschnitzel.

Scientists need to stop naming things

The latest entry into the Eat My Words Name Shame Hall of fame is a Scitable, new elearning portal from the prestigious Nature Publishing Group, the world's leading publisher of science. Created by mad scientists, this name was tested on lab rats.

Thanks to Igal Gabbay for alerting us to this unfortunate blunder.

Shut Up & Spoon Me - Now Available Online

It seemed as if Hell would freeze over in frozen yogurt before this happened, but after months of anticipation, Spoon Me loot is finally for sale online. Now you can buy your own "Shut Up and Spoon Me" t-shirt and stop trying to steal mine. As most of you know (because we talk about it every chance we get), Eat My Words named Spoon Me, which has become the hottest frozen yogurt franchise on the planet. 

Spoon Me has turned their name into cold hard cash by slapping it on everything from bumper stickers to booty shorts.  We love making our clients rich and are proud to be the only naming firm that monetizes names through merchandise. (How many t-shirts do you think Spoon Me would have sold if they stuck with their original name, Zenyo?)

Check out the Spoon Me store to see all of the stylish fashions.

Tender, Juicy Obama Fingers Hit the Shelves

Our friend and fellow namer Anthony Shore tipped us off to this unfortunately-named new product, as reported in the dishy German blog Spiegel Online International:

Tender, Juicy Obama Fingers Hit the Shelves

By Charles Hawley

A German frozen food company hopes to raise sales with a new product: Obama fingers. The tender, fried chicken bits come with a tasty curry sauce. The company says it was unaware of the possible racist overtones of the product.

Selling products has, of course, become a bit more difficult than usual these days. No wonder then that companies everywhere are turning to optimistic marketing messages in an effort to counteract the steady drum beat of negativity coming from front page headlines around the globe.

Many sales executives have drawn the same conclusion: What better poster child for hope than US President Barack Obama? There are Obama dolls, Obama T-shirts, Obama soap-on-a-rope. There is even Obama thong underwear on offer.

Not wanting to miss the boat, a German food company has now gotten into the act. Sprehe, a company that has all manner of frozen delicacies on offer, has come up with a new product it calls "Obama Fingers." Far from being real digits, though, the "fingers" in question are "tender, juicy pieces of chicken breast, coated and fried," as the product packaging claims.

Fried chicken, in other words. With a curry dip.

"We noticed that American products and the American way of eating are trendy at the moment," Judith Witting, sales manager for Sprehe, told SPIEGEL ONLINE. "Americans are more relaxed. Not like us stiff Germans, like (Chancellor Angela) Merkel."

The idea, she claimed, was to get in on the Obama-mania which is continuing to grip Germany. The word "fingers" in the name refers to the fact that it is a finger food. "It's like hotdogs," Witting said. "No one would ever think they are actually from dogs."

For Americans in Germany, though, there is a risk that the product might be seen as racially insensitive. Fried chicken has long been associated with African-Americans in the US -- naming strips of fried chicken after the first black president could cause some furrowing of brows.

Witting told SPIEGEL ONLINE the connection never even occurred to her. "It was supposed to be a homage to the American lifestyle and the new US president," she said.

--

Want more dish? Sign up for Spiegel Online's daily newsletter and get the best of Der Spiegel's and Spiegel Online's international coverage in your In-Box everyday.

Wha'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis?

The Sears Tower, America's tallest building, is being renamed The Willis Tower as a result of a   major new tenant, Willis Group Holdings.  That's it.  We just could not resist the post title.

More client love for Eat My Words

We recently renamed a coffee company with what is our most merchandisable name since Spoon Me. We can't let the name out of the bean bag yet, but in the meantime, here's a gushing testimonial from the client, Pete... 

As a startup company, it was important for the Second Chance Coffee Company to find a professional naming company that was as creative, energetic and focused on providing real value, as we are passionate about our business and mission. We have the right company name but "Second Chance" does not work so well for a coffee product that is roasted and delivered fresh the same day!

When our research turned up Eat My Words as a naming company that serves up "fresh names & taglines to go" we were interested. A little digging into the EMW website made it clear that this was no ordinary naming firm. This website, unlike a bunch of others, was clear and understandable, with none of the marketing mumbo jumbo we'd been wading through elsewhere. The simply powerful "Smile and Scratch Test" prompted us to give Alexandra a call. By the end of the conversation, it was clear that her fresh and engaging approach to naming was what we were looking for. Alexandra's enthusiasm, passion and track record convinced us that we had found the right solution to our naming conundrum, and the execution of the project has proven that we were correct.

"Good Value" is an understatement. Eat My Words has been very creative, energetic, and professional in every aspect of our project. I would not hesitate to hire EMW and Alexandra again.

Pete Leonard

-----

Keep an eye on our blog to find out what we named "Pete's coffee."

OpenTable Dishes Up Appetizing Conference Room Names

Kudos to restaurant reservation company OpenTable (my favorite free service) for having a contest to name their conference rooms.

Out of 51 entries, the winning theme was "fictitious restaurants or cafes from TV shows." Congrats to Julie Hall, the clever employee whose prize is a slick new TV. (How fitting!) Now people can say, "Let's meet in...

Central Perk (Friends)
Cafe Nervosa (Frasier)
The Peach Pit  (90210)
Cheers (Cheers)
Arnold's Drive-In (Happy Days)
Monk's Café  (Seinfeld)
The Regal Beagle (Three's Company)
Phil's (Murphy Brown)
Riff's (Mad About You)
McClaren's (How I Met Your Mother)
Moe's  (The Simpsons)

A foodie friend of mine works at OpenTable and was kind enough to let me collaborate with him on some names. These were our submissions:

BREAKFAST CEREAL CONFERENCE ROOMS
Cap'n Crunch
Count Chocula
Franken Berry
Shredded Wheat
Special K
Wheat Chex
Boo Berry
Malt-O-Meal
Froot Loops

KITCHENWARE CONFERENCE ROOMS
Spatula
Wooden Spoon
Cutting Board (great name for a board room!)
Pressure Cooker (another killer name!)
Corkscrew
Rolling Pin
Egg Beater
Garlic Press
Waffle Iron

We wish more companies would get creative with their conference room names - it's a fun way to add personality to any business.

Open Source - say it outloud - yikes!

Open Source sounds like Open Sores. Ouch!

Name the baby gorilla - his father will pick the winner.

The San Francisco Zoo is having a contest to name their new baby gorilla. Get this - the father of the infant, Oscar Jonesy, a dominant silverback gorilla, will choose the winner by selecting one of five colored bamboo sticks. I am not making this up. From the website. "A panel of judges appointed by the Zoo will choose five finalist names. Each name will be connected individually to five colored bamboo sticks and placed out in the Jones Family Gorilla Preserve exhibit for Oscar Jonesy. The first colored bamboo stick he chooses will be the winning name."

They are looking for "a distinguished name of African origin," so don't try to be cute. For the record, I will be submitting the name "Jambo," which means "Hello" in Swahili. (Swahili is the only language I have ever picked up in my world travels.)

 Go here for full contest details.

Announcing the worst name of 2008

What happens when software engineers drink and play Scrabble?

Thanks to all of you who voted in the 2008 Head Scratcher "worst name of the year" contest. This cheeky annual award, created by naming firm Eat My Words (that would be us), is inspired by our no-brainer philosophy, "A name should make you smile, instead of scratch your head." Contenders are judged on their "ick factor" and ability to pass the Eat My Words SMILE & SCRATCH Test, which has been featured in Wall Street Journal, a fact that we like to mention as often as possible. 

Drumroll please...

The name that chalked up the most votes was a new "financial literacy" site for children out of Oklahoma named Shryk. A name that made us shriek.

The tacky pink trophy was ready to be engraved and then...

Another drumroll please...

We were tipped off that Shryk renamed themselves with an even worse name: iThryv. 

Whaaaaaat? Did one of their software engineers say, "Hey, we need a name with vowels so let's get drunk and play Scrabble again"? (Why not iShryk?) The website explains it all by saying "Shryk changed the name of the corporation to iThryv in an effort to dispel any confusion related to the name of the company versus the name of the product. Now, when someone mentions iThryv -- you know they are talking about financial literacy." HELLO! What about regular literacy?! The name iThryv is so severely spelling-challenged that an entire generation of children are not going to know that the word "thrive" is spelled with vowels. Isn't it already tragic enough that "No Child Left Behind" didn't work and kids don't know how to spell "flicker" or "delicious"? And sorry iThryv, the "i" doesn't buy you a vowel. Beginning your company name with an "i or an "e" is so 1998. Just like iStockPhoto and eHarmony, the name iThryv screams, "WE'RE ON THE INTERNET!" Yeah, everyone is. If iThryv is still "thryving" 20 years from now, the name will sound even more ridiculous than it does today. 

How can you avoid a Head Scratcher award?

Tip #1: Your company name needs to spelled exactly as is sounds. As anyone from iThryv, Takkle, Xobni, or countless other dot coms will reluctantly admit, when you have to verbally spell out your name (and silly-sounding email address) for people, it's embarrassing and annoying. And if it's annoying for you, how do you think your customers feel when they type the name they hear in their browser and discover what iThrive is?

For more tips on when to scratch your name of the list, check out our Kitchen Sink Blog and the Eat My Words SMILE & SCRATCH Test, which has been featured in Wall Street Journal, a fact that we like to mention as often as possible. 

Radisson Blu It

We are all for name changes.  In fact we encourage it, in many cases.  However, this one from Radisson is odd.  First take a look at this from their website:

"As time goes by, your much loved Radisson SAS Hotels & Resorts will change their name to Radisson Blu. This is not a revolution but a gentle evolution. A small graphical change that is significant only in that it reflects a corporate transaction of a few years ago that brought about the natural end of Radisson's links with the SAS Group.

Our values remain the same, our beliefs are the same, our ambitions are the same, our people are the same, our hotels are the same, and our Blu box that allows us to stand out from the global Radisson crowd, remains the same. The world's favourite colour will soon come to represent a cool, calm and collective Radisson hotel experience. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Radisson Blu, you'll soon forget it was ever known as anything else."

If that isn't clear,  Gordon McKinnon vice-president of branding explains: “Our customers are used to a difference between Radisson SAS and simply Radisson and we wanted to keep that differentiation there by using “Blu” in the title, in reference to the previous use of a blue box in the logo.” He also said he hoped the rebrand would win more customers.

What? 

Let's suspend reality for a moment and say that that makes sense.  OK, why BLU and not BLUE or even BLEU for that European flair?  It just looks like someone forgot to type the "e". 

P.S.  Hey cybersquatters!

Wake up and smell the Amsterdam Coffee House.

An article in today's Wall Street Journal talks about fragrance trends in consumer cleaning products. The scents of pine forests and lemon groves have been upped by "a wildly varied bouquet" including mandarin-lime detergent, lavender vanilla disinfectant and eucalyptus mint toilet bowl cleaners. Although we can't find any mention of it online, the article says a new deodorizer which hit store shelves last month, promises a "Moroccan bazaar." 

Have you ever been to a bazaar in Morocco? I haven't, but I have been to bazaars (also known as "souks" or "markets") in Libya, Egypt, Zanzibar, Tanzania, Ghana, Kenya, South Africa and countless other countries, and I can assure you that the overwhelming scents of these bazaars, should simply not be bottled. 

Here are some of the more memorable scents from my travels, and what I would name them: 

Egyptian Camel Breath

Zanzibar Fish Market

Vatican Tourist

Fiery Ganges Breeze

Amsterdam Coffee Shop

Indian Milk Market

Rustic Serengeti Jeep 

Peruvian Llama Spray

New Zealand Hostel

Mildewy Rain Forest

Durban Bunny Chow

Smokey Chinese Railcar

Okay, I can say it. But please don't spray it.

  

No Snickering: That Road Sign Means Something Else

 

The “Butt” in this road, in South Yorkshire, probably refers to a container for collecting water.

We recently found this in the Europe edition of The New York Times...

No Snickering: That Road Sign Means Something Else 

By SARAH LYALL

Published: January 22, 2009

CRAPSTONE, England — When ordering things by telephone, Stewart Pearce tends to take a proactive approach to the inevitable question “What is your address?” 

He lays it out straight, so there is no room for unpleasant confusion. “I say, ‘It’s spelled “crap,” as in crap,’ ” said Mr. Pearce, 61, who has lived in Crapstone, a one-shop country village in Devon, for decades.

Disappointingly, Mr. Pearce has so far been unable to parlay such delicate encounters into material gain, as a neighbor once did.

“Crapstone,” the neighbor said forthrightly, Mr. Pearce related, whereupon the person on the other end of the telephone repeated it to his co-workers and burst out laughing. “They said, ‘Oh, we thought it didn’t really exist,’ ” Mr. Pearce said, “and then they gave him a free something.”

In the scale of embarrassing place names, Crapstone ranks pretty high. But Britain is full of them. Some are mostly amusing, like Ugley, Essex; East Breast, in western Scotland; North Piddle, in Worcestershire; and Spanker Lane, in Derbyshire.

Others evoke images that may conflict with residents’ efforts to appear dignified when, for example, applying for jobs.

These include Crotch Crescent, Oxford; Titty Ho, Northamptonshire; Wetwang, East Yorkshire; Slutshole Lane, Norfolk; and Thong, Kent. And, in a country that delights in lavatory humor, particularly if the word “bottom” is involved, there is Pratts Bottom, in Kent, doubly cursed because “prat” is slang for buffoon.

As for Penistone, a thriving South Yorkshire town, just stop that sophomoric snickering.

“It’s pronounced ‘PENNIS-tun,’ ” Fiona Moran, manager of the Old Vicarage Hotel in Penistone, said over the telephone, rather sharply. When forced to spell her address for outsiders, she uses misdirection, separating the tricky section into two blameless parts: “p-e-n” — pause — “i-s-t-o-n-e.”

Several months ago, Lewes District Council in East Sussex tried to address the problem of inadvertent place-name titillation by saying that “street names which could give offense” would no longer be allowed on new roads.

“Avoid aesthetically unsuitable names,” like Gaswork Road, the council decreed. Also, avoid “names capable of deliberate misinterpretation,” like Hoare Road, Typple Avenue, Quare Street and Corfe Close.

(What is wrong with Corfe Close, you might ask? The guidelines mention the hypothetical residents of No. 4, with their unfortunate hypothetical address, “4 Corfe Close.” To find the naughty meaning, you have to repeat the first two words rapidly many times, preferably in the presence of your fifth-grade classmates.)

The council explained that it was only following national guidelines and that it did not intend to change any existing lewd names.

Still, news of the revised policy raised an outcry.

“Sniggering at double entendres is a loved and time-honored tradition in this country,” Carol Midgley wrote in The Times of London. Ed Hurst, a co-author, with Rob Bailey, of “Rude Britain” and “Rude UK,” which list arguably offensive place names — some so arguably offensive that, unfortunately, they cannot be printed here — said that many such communities were established hundreds of years ago and that their names were not rude at the time.

“Place names and street names are full of history and culture, and it’s only because language has evolved over the centuries that they’ve wound up sounding rude,” Mr. Hurst said in an interview.

Mr. Bailey, who grew up on Tumbledown Dick Road in Oxfordshire, and Mr. Hurst got the idea for the books when they read about a couple who bought a house on Butt Hole Road, in South Yorkshire.

The name most likely has to do with the spot’s historic function as a source of water, a water butt being a container for collecting water. But it proved to be prohibitively hilarious.

“If they ordered a pizza, the pizza company wouldn’t deliver it, because they thought it was a made-up name,” Mr. Hurst said. “People would stand in front of the sign, pull down their trousers and take pictures of each other’s naked buttocks.”

The couple moved away.

The people in Crapstone have not had similar problems, although their sign is periodically stolen by word-loving merrymakers. And their village became a stock joke a few years ago, when a television ad featuring a prone-to-swearing soccer player named Vinnie Jones showed Mr. Jones’s car breaking down just under the Crapstone sign.

In the commercial, Mr. Jones tries to alert the towing company to his location while covering the sign and trying not to say “crap” in front of his young daughter.

The consensus in the village is that there is a perfectly innocent reason for the name “Crapstone,” though it is unclear what that is. Theories put forth by various residents the other day included “place of the rocks,” “a kind of twisting of the original word,” “something to do with the soil” and “something to do with Sir Francis Drake,” who lived nearby.

Jacqui Anderson, a doctor in Crapstone who used to live in a village called Horrabridge, which has its own issues, said that she no longer thought about the “crap” in “Crapstone.”

Still, when strangers ask where she’s from, she admitted, “I just say I live near Plymouth.” 

If you’re smirking at this sign, you’re mispronouncing the town’s name. It’s PENNIS-tun.

Beaner's Coffee House takes the heat and changes name

We're naming a coffee company this week, and I came across this article about an unfortunate name. Yikes! 

Changing coffee house's name was 'right thing to do,' says Biggby CEO

Posted by Erin Albanese | The Grand Rapids Press June 26, 2008 22:02PM

GRAND RAPIDS -- Biggby Coffee CEO and co-founder Bob Fish chalks up gracing his stores with the name Beaner's to Midwest naivete.

"Beaner's to us didn't mean anything but coffee," said Fish, whose firm changed the name of its stores in November.

Although the financial impact of that $1 million decision won't be evident until next January, growth in store numbers is a positive indicator, he said.

The East Lansing-based franchise now has 100 stores in nine states, with a forecast to grow to 250 by 2010, he told members of The West Michigan Chapter of the Public Relations Society of America at the University Club on Thursday.

"The most important reason we changed the name is because we felt it was the right thing to do. We are a company of inclusion not of exclusion," he said.

Customers -- about 700 who posted comments on its Web site -- expressed both support and dismay with the change.

When he opened his first store in 1995, there was no Internet to search, said Fish, who owns the brand with partners Mike McFall and Mary Roszel.

"We would have Googled it and found out there were any repercussions to having that name," he said.

As more stores opened and Beaner's became a franchise, Fish heard more and more comments the moniker was a disparaging term for Mexican-Americans.

It was not a well-known term at the time in Michigan, but Southerners sometimes registered shock at the name. There was never a lawsuit or organized boycott, however.

"It was becoming more ubiquitous as time went on," he said.

Fish realized he might be excluding a segment of the population, even if it realized the name referred to coffee.

"It didn't mean they would walk around with a cup that said Beaner's on it," he said.

Fish turned to Grand Rapids-based public relations firm Lambert Edwards & Associates to help facilitate the change.

Wired Wants You to (Re)name NASA's Next Martian Rover

Here's a recent naming contest we read about on the Wired Blog Network - go for it!

(Re)name NASA's Next Martian Rover

By Alexis Madrigal 

January 20, 2009 

With the recent detection of seasonal Martian methane emissions — which microbes could be generating or eating, NASA's next robotic mission to the planet could become the most exciting unmanned mission in the history of the agency, especially if it discovers definitive evidence of extraterrestrial life.

NASA claims the rover, which currently goes by the painfully dull name Mars Science Laboratory, will be the most capable rover ever, with a larger payload of more sophisticated instruments. Originally scheduled to launch in October 2009, "testing and hardware challenges" have pushed the date to the next window when Mars and Earth are favorably aligned in fall 2011. The rover's main task is to answer the burning question of whether the red planet ever was, or still is, habitable for microbial life.   

We think a rover with such a cool mission mission needs a better name. Even NASA honchos know: They are holding a kid-centric naming contest sponsored by Wall-E to replace the current dry moniker.

Call us homers, but we have more faith in Wired Science readers than we do in your little cousins to come up with the type of awe-inducing name that will fit the next-gen rover. After all, you did an inspiring job with the Mars Phoenix Twitter epitaph contest. So, we're introducing another Reddit widget below for you to go wild with. You can submit your own name and vote on others through Jan. 26.

We can't promise that NASA will have anything to do with our official nickname, but we will link it from our future stories on the rover.

To Submit a Rover Name to Wired, click on the original blog post and scroll to the bottom of the page.

I'll have the Blackened Sea Kitten please.

We love animals here at Eat My Words.  In fact, we own a menagerie that includes dogs, cats, several goats and one really mean goose.   However, we think PETA has gone a little overboard with their new  campaign to change the name of fish to "sea kittens".  The thinking is that if we view them as fluffy aquatic purrmeisters we won't indulge in their delicious, buttery, flaky,  flavor-filled goodness.

However, just in case they want to extend the campaign.  Here are some other renaming possibilities to get people off the meat wagon:

Chicken = Mini American Bald Eagles

Lamb = Billowy White  Cloud Angels

Pork = Pen Pals

Beef = Barn Puppies

In a related story, there have been three sea kitten attacks off the coast of Australia in the past two days.

Vote For the Worst Brand Name of 2008

All year long we compile the biggest brand name  "Head Scratchers" in our blog. Now you can vote for the worst one and help induct it into the Eat My Words Name Shame Hall of Fame. Based on criteria from the Eat My Words SMILE & SCRATCH name evaluation test, here are what we consider to be the top ten offenders that we've discovered this year:

Airphoria -  a new "airline experience"

Authonomy - post your manuscript online

Chumby - a newfangled Linux-based gadget 

Cuil - a not so cool search engine name

Cranergy - Ocean Spray's latest trainwreck

Naymz - a professional "reputation network"

Salesify - the new name for SalesBuild

Shryk - online banking platform

Traackr - social networking popularity site

VivaKy - integrated digital media universe

Please vote for the worst here. (Write in candidates welcome.) We'll announce the winner in our blog in late-January. The company behind the winning name will receive a big pink trophy, courtesy of Eat My Words. (We're still waiting for our thank you note from last year's winner, Xobni.) NOTE: Feel free to post this in your blog and spread the word around.

 

Bad to the Xohm

One of our favorite really really bad names and contender for 2008's Eat My Words Name Shame Hall of Fame,   XOHM,  has met an early death.  We previously ranted about this abomination as being wrong in so many many ways back in March and our opinion has not improved.

The merger with Clearwire has provided an opportunity to euthanize XOHM with the announcement that the new name will be "Clear".  Sources at Clearwire have said that present XOHM customers will not experience any impact from the merger other than not having to say or read the name XOHM ever again.

We're not saying Clear is the best name ever, especially with the trite tagline "Let's be clear", that goes along with it, but at least it does not provoke our gag reflex.

Love at first sight doesn't just happen on eHarmony.

Imagine never having to spend a dime on advertising or PR because your brand name was so magnetic that people were instantly drawn to it. And your name was so infectious, your customers were excited to tell other people and generate buzz for you. We've seen this happen over and over again with names we create. The frozen yogurt franchise we named Spoon Me. The commercial cleaning company we named Eat My Dust. The iPod clock radio we named Moondance. The laundromat we named Stuff a Sock In It. The ice cream store we named Frigid. The home cleaning robot we named Neato. The charity reward program we named Angel Points. The dips for kids we named Monkey Dunks. And of course our own name, Eat My Words.

 

How likable is your own brand name? 

Do people smile when they hear it?

Do they say, "I wish I thought of that!"

Do they say, "I can't believe that name wasn't taken!"

Do they say, "My friend was just talking about that!"

Do they ask, "Where can I buy the t-shirt?"

If you answered "yes" to any of the above, you're in great shape (and chances are, you are an Eat My Words client).

 

NameTag®, You’re Not It

We are always amused by our competitors when they glorify their naming processes as “proprietary” methodology and come up with mumbo jumbo voodoo jive to describe what’s behind the curtain. Sometimes all that behind the curtain is empty space.  Let us say it again:

Everyone names things the same way, but some just do it better than others.  When you can stand by your names proudly, you don’t need falderal to sell your names.

Which brings us to worldwide brand strategy, naming firm and falderal experts, NameTag® International, Inc. 

 

( who claims their names are…)                    

Here is their International mumbo jumbo voodoo jive:

“Our proprietary   Idiotics™  Ideonics™ process encompasses BrandVision™, strategic ideation, trademark assessment, brand testing and brand rollout assistance.” 

Falderal to English translation:

Our process, that is like everyone else’s, involves thinking up names, checking for conflicts,  testing it and stuff then pretend that we came up with great names (although we won’t tell you that part).  Then, in our downtime, we sit around and think up junk like Ideonics™,  BrandVision™ and:

InSight Research, which breaks down into four distinct options for your brand research needs:

·         4Sight™ provides our clients with rapid market indicators of the viability of their brand name.

·         EquiTest™ measures the brand equity of an existing name.

·         WorldTest™ serves as an international brand inference testing procedure providing a preliminary, global linguistic analysis in languages specified by the client.

·         VeriTest™ addresses global research and is designed to assist clients with name assessment and final name candidate viability

Yikes. Nothing new there.

Here is what you get with Ideonics™ et al ; Everything from Amazara to Zintrepid, with STŌK, Sorian, Aerius, Cognis and Teligen in between. 

They say:

                                                                      We   Say:

          

Eat My Words creates truly unforgettable names like Spoon Me frozen yogurt, Cake Financial,  Frigid ice cream, BackBeat ear buds and iPod clock radio we named Moondance.  We can do the same for you….and we promise never to say falderal ever again.